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"Your Apocalypse is here. It arrived right on schedule. I provided the reason and the rebellion. YOU supplied the incentive and the weaponry."
Anton Szandor LaVey
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks."
Anonymous
"Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them."
"Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic."
"Well, I have been a woman for 50 years now and have recovered from my initial astonishment."
Nadia Boulanger upon being asked what it was like to be the first woman to conduct the Boston Symphony Orchestra in 1939.
"Stress is when you wake up screaming... and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."
Anonymous
"I'm so far behind I think I'm first."
Anonymous
"Work is a necessary evil to be avoided."
Mark Twain
"If today was the first day of the rest of your life, then what the hell was yesterday?"
Bernard Lavander
"The world will always include misery. And people need music, they need it as much as they need comfort or food."
Anne Rice, The Tale of the Body Thief
"If going to church makes you a Christian, does going to the garage make you a car?"
Anonymous
"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."
Albert Camus
"Puritanism: The fear that somebody, somewhere might be happy."
Anonymous
"Christianity is looking for a black cat in a dark room that isn't there... and finding it!"
"Screw Presidents, how about a High Priestess for a change?"
Anonymous
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire
"It does not matter how slowly you go... as long as you do not stop!"
Confucius
"Life is just one damned thing after another."
Elbert Hubbard
"The greater part of what my neighbors call good I believe in my soul to be bad, and if I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior."
Henry David Thoreau
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
Oliver Wendell Holmes
"I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one - 'Cover for me.' Number two - 'Oh, good idea, boss.' Number Three - 'It was like that when I got here.'"
Homer J. Simpson
"If we could focus on important things
Live and let live, true freedom, not everyone's the same
No more war for our god
No more war for our race
It's our world, it's what we make it
Make it a better place"
"Consequences" - Iced Earth
"Hunger hurts
But I wanted him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to focus, these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starving works
When it costs too much to love."
"Paper Bag" - Fiona Apple
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
Albert Einstein
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'"
Yoda
"I saw the goat the next day - it did not seem too upset, but it is difficult to tell."
A police officer in Humberside, England who was inundated with phone calls when a trainload of commuters witnessed a man having sex with the grazing farm animal.
"The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far, but we will walk carefully."
Russian Proverb
"I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, kick, scream and complain."
Billy Psycho
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
Woody Allen
"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep... what do you want - an adorable pancreas?"
Jean Kerr, "The Snake Has All the Lines"
"Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come the faster rats."
Anonymous
"Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation."
Lord Thomas Dewar
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love."
Albert Einstein
"Anything that can't be done in bed isn't worth doing at all."
Groucho Marx
"There are two kinds of truth, the truth that lights the way and the truth that warms the heart. The first of these is science and the second is art."
Raymond Chandler "Great Thought"
"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it."
Chinese proverb
"Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet."
Albert Einstein
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I choose the one I've never tried."
Mae West
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Open-Site Editor
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Real Name: Jaime Jordan
Location: Foxboro, Massachusetts
Editor Since: May 25, 2002
Privileges: Meta
ODP Editor Name: #name
Occupation: The Home Depot - Freight Team
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